Official Stanleys 0.25/0.50 cash thread

[Zero]

Thought id set up this one thread so that we can stop using multiple ones, the purpose of this thread is just to set up the low stakes cashy at stanlesys and you'll be able to see who is up for playin on what night

[Nut_Stack]

Good stuff Zero, an idea from Buzz that appears to be turning out as a regular game :) I'm up for tomorrow night after work :D

[Varzee]

Ill be there too. Might play the bingo tourney at aspers first then head down to stanleys! Wot time u usually all play to?

[buzz]

Good stuff Zero, an idea from Buzz that appears to be turning out as a regular game :) I'm up for tomorrow night after work :D

my business brain is as sharp as a knife

never miss a trick.

but yer i may be up for playing tomorow night,playing tourney tonight and i feel lucky:D

will you be coming down at 11ish again mark?(i think thats your name)

[goldfoxdom]

playing 2nite, defo a game, bring on the fish

[Nut_Stack]

my business brain is as sharp as a knife

never miss a trick.

but yer i may be up for playing tomorow night,playing tourney tonight and i feel lucky:D

will you be coming down at 11ish again mark?(i think thats your name)

Yip sure is :D

I'm only at work till 7pm so can properly get there for around 9ish

What time is everyone thinking of turning up?

[Zero]

al turn up on friday at 8.30 if people fancy it early so can get a propper shift in?

ino my flatmates will play then aswell, if anyone fancies playin tonyt then al ask at my flat cz ino that 2 of them wanted to play tonyt

[Zero]

Ill be there too. Might play the bingo tourney at aspers first then head down to stanleys! Wot time u usually all play to?

on monday played till 4 and on wed till 3 but it was still goin wen I left, not sure how long last fridays went on though

[Nut_Stack]

8.30pm is fine by me, if thats when people are turning up tomorrow I'll be there for then :)

[Nut_Stack]

on monday played till 4 and on wed till 3 but it was still goin wen I left, not sure how long last fridays went on though

it broke around 3.30am ish

[tubbs]

i played last night, by the time went out of tourney onyl got half an hour or so in before some of the children at the table cried off saying it was past their bed time blah blah blah ;)

[Varzee]

well ill pop down after the bingo tourney at aspers and stay till it breaks i guess. Then if i wanna carry on can always return to aspers for some 1/2

[Zero]

i played last night, by the time went out of tourney onyl got half an hour or so in before some of the children at the table cried off saying it was past their bed time blah blah blah ;)

how long did you get in after we left?

8.30pm is fine by me, if thats when people are turning up tomorrow I'll be there for then :)

ryt, wel al turn up at 8.30 al see if neil and joblin will come then, also al get my house mates down at that time

[sean mcguigan]

OK can't play tourney tomorrow as i am at work Saturday so I will play this tomorrow if it's going ahead. Noce one,

[Nut_Stack]

how long did you get in after we left?



ryt, wel al turn up at 8.30 al see if neil and joblin will come then, also al get my house mates down at that time


cool, I'll defo be there for 8.30, but am at work at 7am on saturday :( so carnt do same as last week and stay out till 6am. See you all there :)

[buzz]

BUzz lightyear will be making a celebrity guest appearence at 8.30.

No easy money to be made this night, just got back from cash game (once again a full table and a few big pots) and my head was switched on again,was very card dead apart from on AK four players and i hit a A on turn,took me around 20 quid, all in all finished a 10er up.

look forward to seeing you all tomorow

[spoona999]

i might make a guest appearance 2nyt also...will be around 10.30 tho

[GazWalker]

Will pop in for a few hands after the Aspers game.

Gaz.

[tubbs]

how long did you get in after we left?



ryt, wel al turn up at 8.30 al see if neil and joblin will come then, also al get my house mates down at that time

not logg m8, think was about 3:10 wen, what must av been u and a cpl of others left, after that 20 - 30 mins max, alex left then dealer went bust leaving only 4.

pro cant make tonght but good luck to all than can :)

[GeordieeGaz]

I may turn up again this week, was enjoyable last week.

I have a few games online but if/when I bust I will probs come down. May not be able to get a seat then though!!

[buzz]

i might make a guest appearance 2nyt also...will be around 10.30 tho

matt hardy guest will be making a guest appearence!!

[Zero]

not logg m8, think was about 3:10 wen, what must av been u and a cpl of others left, after that 20 - 30 mins max, alex left then dealer went bust leaving only 4.

pro cant make tonght but good luck to all than can :)

yeah was me in the grey hoody, for those coming al be in that again and wearin a hat (in a piss take way) and with patchy bum fluff growing on my face

[spoona999]

yeah was me in the grey hoody, for those coming al be in that again and wearin a hat (in a piss take way) and with patchy bum fluff growing on my face

ull look the double of me ;)

[spoona999]

im torn between play this 2nyt or a tourny 2mra/next week...hmmmmmmmm

[buzz]

im torn between play this 2nyt or a tourny 2mra/next week...hmmmmmmmm

Play cash, treble your money, then play tourney 2moro and next week,simple!

[spoona999]

wow it sounds do simple :p...suppose i dun tht last week....ill play cash and whenever i have enuff money im happy wit or lose it all (more likely) ill deal and make a killin :D

[buzz]

wow it sounds do simple :p...suppose i dun tht last week....ill play cash and whenever i have enuff money im happy wit or lose it all (more likely) ill deal and make a killin :D

haha yeh the dealer job is a good idea,altho mac dealt for a bit lastnyt and got nothing...that was probably because carol was cleaning up though!!!

[spoona999]

haha, i wonder how much the chinese guy who dealt left with last week

[GeordieeGaz]

haha, i wonder how much the chinese guy who dealt left with last week

well he got about £15 off me! :rolleyes:

[buzz]

well he got about £15 off me! :rolleyes:

bout the same from me

[spoona999]

gt about 2 quid off me :D

[Zero]

5 from me, so he's already got quite a stash

[goldfoxdom]

what times this starting about half 8?

[buzz]

what times this starting about half 8?

yerp looks like half 8

[Zero]

i think its me, neil, spoona, sean mcguigan, nut_stack, and dom? for 8.30, i havent heard from joblin yet either, any1 knw where he is?

[buzz]

i think its me, neil, spoona, sean mcguigan, nut_stack, and dom? for 8.30, i havent heard from joblin yet either, any1 knw where he is?

hes playing at apsers tourney then will be coming down after that,could be early could be late with it being a freezout, im looking forward to another game,looks like a tough table tho!

[Nut_Stack]

i think its me, neil, spoona, sean mcguigan, nut_stack, and dom? for 8.30, i havent heard from joblin yet either, any1 knw where he is?


I'm gonna head to the Grove for there £25 double freeze out and see what happens, so depending on turnout/how long till I donk off, I might be a little late for this. Will defo be there but depending how the tourny goes will dictate the time.

see you all there t'nyt :)

[buzz]

I'm gonna head to the Grove for there £25 double freeze out and see what happens, so depending on turnout/how long till I donk off, I might be a little late for this. Will defo be there but depending how the tourny goes will dictate the time.

see you all there t'nyt :)

you traitor!!!

[Nut_Stack]

you traitor!!!

I know I feel so dirty :( I hang my head in shame

(if its not a good turn out I will be there on time and on plan)

[buzz]

I know I feel so dirty :( I hang my head in shame

(if its not a good turn out I will be there on time and on plan)

come crawling back to us?

[Nut_Stack]

come crawling back to us?

:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(

I will defo be there Neil, depending on the Grov. I think I need to donk off some cash to make up for this missdeed :rolleyes:

[Zero]

I will defo be there Neil, depending on the Grov. I think I need to donk off some cash to make up for this missdeed :rolleyes:

surely thats a contradiction in terms?

[GazWalker]

Good game last night lads.

When does the "tenner-gate" thread start? :p

Looking forward to the next.

Gaz.

[spoona999]

yer was a good one last night. n e 1 fancy a game 2nyt?

[GazWalker]

yer was a good one last night. n e 1 fancy a game 2nyt?

If I donk out the Aspers game, sure :D

[spoona999]

i cnt make it 2nyt, ill probs be up 4 a game during the week tho

[Looseman]

i cnt make it 2nyt, ill probs be up 4 a game during the week tho

His lass won't let him come out to play

The Looseman

[spoona999]

lol, nah watchin the spartans on tv and havin a pizza then going 2 bed :) too tired

[Zero]

i'd come but going on a road trip to yarm for this http://www.lastchancetodance.net/ although al be up for on tuesday

[Irishimi]

i'd come but going on a road trip to yarm for this http://www.lastchancetodance.net/ although al be up for on tuesday

Tuesday will be the £50 game, so it'll be really busy.

[Zero]

so who is up for tuesday?

did it get goin on saturday or sunday?

[buzz]

tuesday is the 50 game at stanleys,most be people will be playing that,best game around,but if people get knocked out they might play cash afterwards.

[Zero]

if it so popular you recon there will be a spare table still? you going to play it? think al probs head down at like 11ish then to see if can get one going

[buzz]

if it so popular you recon there will be a spare table still? you going to play it? think al probs head down at like 11ish then to see if can get one going

yer im playing, ther should be a table free at 11,id think more than 9 people would have been knocked out by then,just wether the cardroom are too busy or what not,120 players last time,i can always find out for u and let you know if they can put one on,if yes then im sure therl be people hanging around for a game

[Zero]

yer im playing, ther should be a table free at 11,id think more than 9 people would have been knocked out by then,just wether the cardroom are too busy or what not,120 players last time,i can always find out for u and let you know if they can put one on,if yes then im sure therl be people hanging around for a game

sounds like a plan, just need to go find my phone now....

[buzz]

sounds like a plan, just need to go find my phone now....

again?????

does it not come with a tracking decive for 8 quid?

[Zero]

nah am not sure if they've invented that yet, think it myt be in my car though, either way am sure we'll get it organized

[Zero]

also you going for the buffet tonight?

[buzz]

also you going for the buffet tonight?

erm maybe,why not get a cash game going tonight if you are looking for one?espesh if your going for buffet,i love free food

[Zero]

erm maybe,why not get a cash game going tonight if you are looking for one?espesh if your going for buffet,i love free food

gotta be up at 7 in morn, also not sure if anyone else would be up for?

[buzz]

gotta be up at 7 in morn, also not sure if anyone else would be up for?

aah right ok,well im intending to play now but if i go for chinese..who knows...think i wanna save my money for game tomorow,but i could start cash with 20 quid and work it up to 50 quid,freeroll tomorow hmmm..

[Irishimi]

aah right ok,well im intending to play now but if i go for chinese..who knows...think i wanna save my money for game tomorow,but i could start cash with 20 quid and work it up to 50 quid,freeroll tomorow hmmm..

U mean u would be in for £20 only

[Zero]

unless he makes 50 profit and saves the 20 for a cashy afterwards?

you going to play tomorrow if one gets going?

[buzz]

i did mean make 50 clear profit.

i played for about an hour 2nyt and worked 20 quid up to 50 quid so 30 quid profit.

however i had just bubbled in the tourney, i was outplayed by player X lol

i was shortstack and bb with A5,jed made up the blinds,flop comes A8A,we both check,turn is a 7, i min bet,he flat calls,river is a 10, he raises i reshove all in and he insta calls, hes only gone and flopped the house hasnt he!! i stood up and heard "i played that one well didnt i." So to some up, play x outplayed me by flopping a house and me flopping top set.

well done player x!!

also,when i went out,a player (who enjoys dealing) had half a big blind,she ended up coming third for 155, lets just say i wasnt too happy!!!!

[Zero]

does that mean that the you didnt qualify for the final?

was it well attended last nyt?

[GazWalker]

We having a bit cashy the night if theres room?

Gaz.

[buzz]

does that mean that the you didnt qualify for the final?

was it well attended last nyt?

i was too far behind to qualify anyway, think im in the playoff so all is not lost,just gonna have to get lucky to qualify that way!!

you not playing the 50 game at stans tonight gaz?

think that is what most people are doing

[GazWalker]

i was too far behind to qualify anyway, think im in the playoff so all is not lost,just gonna have to get lucky to qualify that way!!

you not playing the 50 game at stans tonight gaz?

think that is what most people are doing

Yeah, I'm playing, it was just for when I get busted out at 1/2am :p

Gaz.

[buzz]

Yeah, I'm playing, it was just for when I get busted out at 1/2am :p

Gaz.

lol it'l be half 9 for me!!

there was a table of 9 or 10 playing lastnight when i left at 2.30 Seb, just stanleys regulars/people busted out the tourney.

[Zero]

We having a bit cashy the night if theres room?

Gaz.

yeah i think we will, al head down at like 10.30ish and see how many are out and if anyone is milling round for a cashy, i fancy a bit of destressing so could do with playin some poker

[spoona999]

yeah i think we will, al head down at like 10.30ish and see how many are out and if anyone is milling round for a cashy, i fancy a bit of destressing so could do with playin some poker

perfect to get anti-stressed...gettin fucked over at poker :p

[Zero]

i duno i could just do with having my mind on other things at the moment if you know wat i mean? get away from reality a bit, + i dont often get to play poker any more so i usualy enjoy it

[Zero]

p.s. you going to play tonyt?

[spoona999]

i duno i could just do with having my mind on other things at the moment if you know wat i mean? get away from reality a bit, + i dont often get to play poker any more so i usualy enjoy it

yer i know what u mean!!! does clear ya mind of everything..ya concentrate on 'if he rivers me here shud i just hit him the once in the face or shud i go 4 the body aswell'

[Zero]

hahah tbh am feeling a bit better already

[Zero]

did you get it going last nyt neil?

[spoona999]

there was a 50/1 game going

[GazWalker]

I left the tourney at midnight and there was a full table of cashers playing 50/1, but not enough to get another table going, despite me waiting another 40 mins. I thought bugger it in the end.

Anyone playing the night?

Gaz.

[michaelt12]

they had any 5/5 or 1/2 games going down in stanleys recently?

[goldfoxdom]

played it for 4 hours won £20, took that £20 to roulette and the rest is history,


DING £££££££££££££££££££££££

[Zero]

they had any 5/5 or 1/2 games going down in stanleys recently?

nah its all been 0.25/0.50 and then obv 50/1 from last nyt, i'd probably be up for playing tonyt for a bit if others show intrest in it, you goin to play the tourney first gaz?

[buzz]

played it for 4 hours won £20, took that £20 to roulette and the rest is history,


DING £££££££££££££££££££££££

gold fish dom

gold fox donk

watever u wanna call him, he ran good on roullete

i sat at the cash table for about 4 hours,played 2 hands,and finished 10 quid up, not bad i supose

[spoona999]

lol did he run as good as laker did on roulette?

[goldfoxdom]

lol did he run as good as laker did on roulette?

turned £20 into £1k

[spoona999]

lol tht is running good, did 26/29 hit alot?

[goldfoxdom]

29 3 out of 4 and i had towers on it

[buzz]

fiiissshhhhhh

btw spoona i think ur through on the friday night because russ won the tourney lastnyt so he qualifies through the wednesday league.

[spoona999]

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee......do u know how many points he finished on?

[buzz]

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee......do u know how many points he finished on?

somewhere into the mid 60's i think

[spoona999]

good stuff :D:D:D

[GazWalker]

£20 to a grand is nice work like Dom :D

Gaz.

[goldfoxdom]

was sick hit about 8/10 spins
lol

[Zero]

anyone up for playin tomorrow nyt? about 9.30 start?

[buzz]

anyone up for playin tomorrow nyt? about 9.30 start?

yerr go on il have a game,try and get it going a bit earlier this week,not 11.30 like last week!!

if people are going to play could they state how certain they are and what time they'l be heading down for?

just so we can get a rough idea of when the game will get going

[Zero]

i'll head down at 9.30 if some others will commit

[buzz]

doesnt look like theres much demand for this tonight.

but im gunna head down at 8-830 i think,wanna get it started a bit earlier because i have work tomorow.

Alex Jobling, Dom and myself are heading down then

[Zero]

am headin down at 9.30ish neil and think givin joblin a lift

[buzz]

reeto, me dom and crazy chef are heading down at 9

[Irishimi]

reeto, me dom and crazy chef are heading down at 9

Like a more annoying version of the crazy frog....(if he takes a bad beat)

[Zero]

you going to head down imi?

[buzz]

sick to death of fucking poker

[goldfoxdom]

chin up buzz

[Stevie Sensation]

Is Crazy Chef Alex?

Because his flopped straight got beat by a full house. Chairs were kicked. CHAIRS WERE KICKED.

[Irishimi]

sick to death of fucking poker

What happened?

[buzz]

What happened?

nothing too bad really,just sat there bored all night,made one bad call when i couldnt lay down two pair,then last hand of the night my 66 gets beat by a4,all in for about 25 quid,sum pissed bloke who had never played before took my money.

he then took about 80 quid from alex brown,after alex flopped a straight and pissed bloke hit a house,he was about 150 quid i think lol

just pisses me off at times, but never mind ey

[GazWalker]

Thats a shitter mate :(

[Zero]

take it that means u dont fancy it after the team game?

[buzz]

take it that means u dont fancy it after the team game?

dont worry i love poker again lol just a momentary loss, iv got a new mindset now: - )

but no poker for me tonight,got work in the morning,and need as much sleep as possible tonight because its works christmas party in the morning.

i'll probably be up for playing on monday night though if anyone is interested

BTW the night wasnt a total disaster for me, we had mr new age poker playing on the cash table for a bit, first time iv sat at the same table as him and i can safely say he has the craziest style of poker ever!! sometimes i wish i could be a fearless as he is,would get me out the shit a few times!!

Tony was also very unlucky to the pissed bloke, Tony went all in UTG and got called by him, Tony had 88 and he had A2,ACE on the flop,exactly the same beat i took.

[Zero]

Is Crazy Chef Alex?

Because his flopped straight got beat by a full house. Chairs were kicked. CHAIRS WERE KICKED.

hahaha

[goldfoxdom]

2nite any1?

[Varzee]

we had mr new age poker playing on the cash table for a bit, first time iv sat at the same table as him and i can safely say he has the craziest style of poker ever!! .

ya dont say!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;)

[Zero]

cant tonyt, but i really want to set one up for tuesday at about 9/10ish, will there be alot of people there for the tourney?

[GazWalker]

2nite any1?

Gotta drop the parents off at the airport at 4.30am :confused: so need a decent nights sleep :(

[tubbs]

cant tonyt, but i really want to set one up for tuesday at about 9/10ish, will there be alot of people there for the tourney?

yes, but some of these will probs want 1/2, best night i can see is wednesday this week, u've got the league play off going on, and when some of those go out it might be too late to enter the normal tourney so thsi cash game might go down well.

[Zero]

yes, but some of these will probs want 1/2, best night i can see is wednesday this week, u've got the league play off going on, and when some of those go out it might be too late to enter the normal tourney so thsi cash game might go down well.

cheers for advice, myt just do that then

[Irishimi]

Why has this thread moved?

[buzz]

people wont read it as much in here

or maybe thats the point,people have got sick of it

[Zero]

just so that it can be sticky and be a long running thing, whereas in the main forum if theres not a game set up on sunday or w.e then it means it will drop out of view and organizing a game later in the week will then prove harder

[GazWalker]

I know where to look for it here but like you say it may not get new people noticing...

Gaz.

[Zero]

am sure they will be able to scroll down by one click lol, whens the next one getting going?

[Looseman]

people wont read it as much in here

or maybe thats the point,people have got sick of it

very perceptive for one so young and so big.

The Looseman

[buzz]

very perceptive for one so young and so big.

The Looseman

Phew the looseman found it.

No need to worry guy's, we can still piss him with our pointless ramblings:D:D

[mag1892]

what happ to the cash game on sat night.?

[Zero]

they wanted to play too big for my likings :rolleyes:

[mag1892]

i was playing , but had to play headhunter , everyone disappeared.:eek:

[buzz]

i was playing , but had to play headhunter , everyone disappeared.:eek:

lol i was in bed by 10 oclock, was wierd!!

you playing pool/poker tomorow colin?

[mag1892]

playing both m8 , not sure about stanleys though , the playoffs on so wont be many playing tourny.

[H1LOYEAH?]

i aint playing until people stop buying watches! ! !

tell a lie, c u friday in the cash @ grov where a rolex might be up for grabs

[Zero]

nah man just hoy ur rolex in the 25p/50p game

[Zero]

RIGHT, cash game tomorrow (FRIDAY), who is in?

[buzz]

iv still got the tomtits

[Looseman]

iv still got the tomtits

Can you update us. Is your arse like a bllod orange or a Jap Flag.

The Looseman

[buzz]

Can you update us. Is your arse like a bllod orange or a Jap Flag.

The Looseman

cross between the two.

it isnt very pleasant let me tell you.

i think we need a reaaaaly long discussion on what i could do to get healthy again

[Looseman]

cross between the two.

it isnt very pleasant let me tell you.

i think we need a reaaaaly long discussion on what i could do to get healthy again

Try an old technique I found in Encylopedia Brittanica, its called slotting. You need a muslin bag where you fill this bag with ice cubes and treacle. Close the bag and then slowly drag the muslin bag from the bollocks to the top of the crack of your arse, keep repeating this technique over and over. Your pulsing arsehole will quickly cool down and then the soothing feeling will sweep over your ringer. The Encylopedia then makes a couple of suggestions

a. Don't go wandering off in the woods, especially when the bears are not hibernating.
b. Generally carry out the exercise when your mother is out and not on a baking day when she may need her treacle.
c. Don't go to any gay bars greased up like this, it will send out the wrong signals.

Hope u get better.

The Looseman

[mag1892]

Try an old technique I found in Encylopedia Brittanica, its called slotting. You need a muslin bag where you fill this bag with ice cubes and treacle. Close the bag and then slowly drag the muslin bag from the bollocks to the top of the crack of your arse, keep repeating this technique over and over. Your pulsing arsehole will quickly cool down and then the soothing feeling will sweep over your ringer. The Encylopedia then makes a couple of suggestions

a. Don't go wandering off in the woods, especially when the bears are not hibernating.
b. Generally carry out the exercise when your mother is out and not on a baking day when she may need her treacle.
c. Don't go to any gay bars greased up like this, it will send out the wrong signals.

Hope u get better.

The Looseman


your off your trolley m8 , very good.:D:D

[buzz]

Try an old technique I found in Encylopedia Brittanica, its called slotting. You need a muslin bag where you fill this bag with ice cubes and treacle. Close the bag and then slowly drag the muslin bag from the bollocks to the top of the crack of your arse, keep repeating this technique over and over. Your pulsing arsehole will quickly cool down and then the soothing feeling will sweep over your ringer. The Encylopedia then makes a couple of suggestions

a. Don't go wandering off in the woods, especially when the bears are not hibernating.
b. Generally carry out the exercise when your mother is out and not on a baking day when she may need her treacle.
c. Don't go to any gay bars greased up like this, it will send out the wrong signals.

Hope u get better.

The Looseman

haha classic

i was more concerned about sorting my belly out as apposed to my burning ring of fire, what does the encyclopedia say about that?

[Looseman]

haha classic

i was more concerned about sorting my belly out as apposed to my burning ring of fire, what does the encyclopedia say about that?

Page 3489 states when the arse reaches a blood orange/jap flag level then the root cause of the problem must be tackled. They recommend that the slotting technique, previously described, is introduced to stabalise the position until the following remedy can be administered. The following technique must be followed exactly for complete cleansing to take place and in exactly this order.

I. Breakast a nice bowl of prunes and cold custard with the skin left on.

2. Mid morning a light snack of salted peanuts and some curdled goats cheese. Ryvita optional.

3. Mid Day 11 pints of fresh orange juice. Between each pint of fresh orange juice consume a slice of toast laced with baked beans(Heinz) and those little pork sausages.

4. At tea time then you need to start drinking some alcohol. You need to alternate between pints of guiness and glasses sherry, every fifth pint needs to be a pint of Alston Hogwash.

5. At or around 9.00pm you need to visit the local Indian. A belly burster of Chicken vindaloo, onion pilaw rice and a keena nan.(remember you are still on the lager and sheery alternate).

This is all preparation of course. The book on page 3490 then advises the final stage which is to strip off, stand in a bath(wear your wellies), then take a pinch of pepper and stick this up your nose. There is only one outcome



=> Sneeze

=> Cough

=> Colossal shit

=> Cleanest bowels in Newcastle

After care = 2 days slotting

The Looseman- good luck

[buzz]

Page 3489 states when the arse reaches a blood orange/jap flag level then the root cause of the problem must be tackled. They recommend that the slotting technique, previously described, is introduced to stabalise the position until the following remedy can be administered. The following technique must be followed exactly for complete cleansing to take place and in exactly this order.

I. Breakast a nice bowl of prunes and cold custard with the skin left on.

2. Mid morning a light snack of salted peanuts and some curdled goats cheese. Ryvita optional.

3. Mid Day 11 pints of fresh orange juice. Between each pint of fresh orange juice consume a slice of toast laced with baked beans(Heinz) and those little pork sausages.

4. At tea time then you need to start drinking some alcohol. You need to alternate between pints of guiness and glasses sherry, every fifth pint needs to be a pint of Alston Hogwash.

5. At or around 9.00pm you need to visit the local Indian. A belly burster of Chicken vindaloo, onion pilaw rice and a keena nan.(remember you are still on the lager and sheery alternate).

This is all preparation of course. The book on page 3490 then advises the final stage which is to strip off, stand in a bath(wear your wellies), then take a pinch of pepper and stick this up your nose. There is only one outcome



=> Sneeze

=> Cough

=> Colossal shit

=> Cleanest bowels in Newcastle

After care = 2 days slotting

The Looseman- good luck

haahaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah i think that should get a looseman award

i will try that tomorow, however i am at work on saturday so that may not be pleasant for other members of staff as i am already quite windy at the best of times

[Looseman]

haahaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah i think that should get a looseman award

i will try that tomorow, however i am at work on saturday so that may not be pleasant for other members of staff as i am already quite windy at the best of times

Page 4980 try a kite for that m8

[Looseman]

Who needs google when you have the 311 volumes of the Encylopedia Brittanica. Plus what other uses has google, the Encylopedia can be adapted for all sorts of uses.

1. Keep the fire stoked up if there are power cuts

2. Barraicading yourself in your bedroom when your wife is pre menstrual and has a knife in her hand.

3. You lost your jack for the car, nee probs volume 1-7 under the axle, off slips the tyre, car stable as a rock.

4. Run out of bog paper, some prefer the Evening Chronicle, personally I have always used the nature section volumes 234-236, rarely read,therefore not missed and the waxed paper ensures your finger doesn't slip through the paper. Plus leaves no sensational headlines across your arse.

5. Next door the vicars daughter(Babe 7 this week) is sunbathing, stand on volumes 20-27 and bingo you are now at the correct height to see right up the crack of her arse.

I could go on but the versatility of this knowledge bank is amazing, nearly as amazing as the fact this Internet thing took off in the face of such competition.

The Looseman

[Scotty]

RIGHT, cash game tomorrow (FRIDAY), who is in?

I think I could be. Depends how wasted I get after my work Christmas party, if I do arrive it will probably be after midnight.

[Looseman]

I think I could be. Depends how wasted I get after my work Christmas party, if I do arrive it will probably be after midnight.

Moderator, can we have an adjudication.


This is a serious attempt to get this thread back on track, any ban possible or what. Its people like Scotty who will get this forum a good name, lets suppress this type of behavious before people get to like it

The Looseman

[buzz]

Moderator, can we have an adjudication.


This is a serious attempt to get this thread back on track, any ban possible or what. Its people like Scotty who will get this forum a good name, lets suppress this type of behavious before people get to like it

The Looseman

your the one taking it off subject by talking about your different uses the encyclopedia.

this thread is about how i can end my bout of the shits

[Scotty]

Apologies for skipping past the comedic genius in the previous posts :p

As for the shits, surely the cure involves mustard? Liberally applying it around all affected areas is the safest solution. If that doesn't work, you can always consult your doctor, he should be able to give you some industrial strength pharmaceutical marmite.

[Looseman]

your the one taking it off subject by talking about your different uses the encyclopedia.

this thread is about how i can end my bout of the shits

Thats the last time I will delve into my fountain of knowledge to help you mate. You just keep doing them handbrake turns in your Keks. Put them in a bucket with a few packets of steradent, should help revive them.

the Looseman

[Zero]

so is neil in? scotty is in for after 12, i think stevie sed he'd play and joblin myt, mebs the craziest of chefs, any one else?

[buzz]

doubt il be playing

[Zero]

dom is up for aswel


neil we should really be havin this convo on msn would be much simpler and time efficient

[Zero]

anyone else up for thats played before like spoona, gazwalker, the suit, etc?

[buzz]

latest update...i havnt been to the bog for 3 and a half hours, i think i am on the mend, i may venture out to poker 2moro!!

and a kebab

[tubbs]

anyone up for a game on sunday afternoon, about 4? fancy popping in to check out how the teamtubbers are doing in the league final so only right to have a bit of a game while i'm there.

[Zero]

yeah ad be up for that if all goes well tonyt, although i will have to leave at 7.45 to get home for you know what

[goldfoxdom]

any1 going or not

[buzz]

afraid not

[GazWalker]

Me neither :(

[goldfoxdom]

looks like grov

[Zero]

it only seems like grov wen u talk in that negative context, here if theres

me
u
persuade joblin
get craziest of chefs
stevie
hopefully one of stevies mates

then there would be a basis to start and ppl will join for tourney, uno wat you are? you're a negative nancy

[GazWalker]

I can make it now as my meeting is cancelled, anyone else?

[Zero]

we ended up playin at grosvner last nyt cz stanlesys was dead, got a good game going (had full table most the nyt), however we were payin charges of £1, at first they werer going to charge us £3 (the same as the 1/2) which would have been ridiculous.



i actually now can tonyt if anyone fancies it for a bit?

[tubbs]

anyone up for sunday late afternoon game then? 4-5pm

[Zero]

anyone up for sunday late afternoon game then? 4-5pm

yeah, al come down at about 10past, al try and get a few people to come with, whats going to be happening in stanners on sunday?

[tubbs]

yeah, al come down at about 10past, al try and get a few people to come with, whats going to be happening in stanners on sunday?

tourney wise? 20/20 at 8pm

but the mora its the league play off final at 3pm, so i was gonna head down once its full swing for a look, thought could get a lil side action going, as long as we get enough say they playin.

[spoona999]

tubbs can ya bring along the office 2007 disk wit ya 2?

[Zero]

tourney wise? 20/20 at 8pm

but the mora its the league play off final at 3pm, so i was gonna head down once its full swing for a look, thought could get a lil side action going, as long as we get enough say they playin.

was on about wat was on at 4-5 in the afternoon, ai well we can get it going

[GazWalker]

I'll be along :)

[tubbs]

ha way lads anymore coming to get this game goin, not sure how many zero is bringing down like, its sunday afternoon theres fuck all else to do, apart from wash the car but its fuckin freezin

[spoona999]

my mate might come down 2 rail the FT later, ive told him theres a small cash game going so he might play if he comes down

[Zero]

sz for the no show......only just woke up now after the mamoth 7 hour cash game the nyt before

[tubbs]

sz for the no show......only just woke up now after the mamoth 7 hour cash game the nyt before

we got a game goin anyway, was ok.

[spoona999]

we got a game goin anyway, was ok.

fish ;)

[tubbs]

fish ;)

aye u just keep calling raises with KQ when ya more than likely dominated with AQ/AK, which in this case u were, so in actual fact ur the fish :p. typical stanleys donk!

[spoona999]

aye u just keep calling raises with KQ when ya more than likely dominated with AQ/AK, which in this case u were, so in actual fact ur the fish :p. typical stanleys donk!

i was playin to flop the str8....which i did, u cudnt pass ace high ;)...typicall stanleys donk

[Irishimi]

i was playin to flop the str8....which i did, u cudnt pass ace high ;)...typicall stanleys donk

See what u did there. Was a pretty sick hand that 1

[spoona999]

See what u did there. Was a pretty sick hand that 1

yer flop the nuts with royal flsh draw, str8 flush draw and flush draw, and tht fish cnt lay down ace high..sik :p

[Irishimi]

yer flop the nuts with royal flsh draw, str8 flush draw and flush draw, and tht fish cnt lay down ace high..sik :p

It is implied that is you have a royal flush draw, u also have a str8 flush draw and a flush draw too.

[Zero]

cash is on nw, am headin to stans nw, joblin sed its bein set up

[Stevie Sensation]

Totally crushed this cash game last night :). 32 up!

[Zero]

£10, was probs all my double stradling that fucd me lol

[spoona999]

WD guys, i cudnt make it last neet :( will b there on wed tho!

[Zero]

ai there should be alot of action on wed, i think i for one am going to get sloshed tmz, gana play tonight if poss aswel

[buzz]

Missed a good one last night, tourney and cash, was a really good atmosphere around the cardroom, especially on the final table (brag) and thew dealers were good crack, and much of the time was spent talking about the crazy chef shoving all in on pocket 2's after stevie trett limped UTG with kings, excellent night

[spoona999]

Missed a good one last night, tourney and cash, was a really good atmosphere around the cardroom, especially on the final table (brag) and thew dealers were good crack, and much of the time was spent talking about the crazy chef shoving all in on pocket 2's after stevie trett limped UTG with kings, excellent night

god he runs so bad.

WD on ur FT how did u get on? win it or fuck it up?

[buzz]

came 4th for 105£, blinds were so high it was ridic, average stack was 5BB, we were four handed for an hour or so and i just ended up shoving on Q10, ran into AQ, Alex Jobling finished 3rd aswell, after we had turned down the chop for 200 each four handed lol silly boy's we are

[Irishimi]

U must have heard Crazy Chef talk about how chopping is collusion. Nice job lads.

[buzz]

yerr the whole casino now knows how he will NEVER do a chop. didnt matter though as he bust out in 10th, i love the crazy chef!!

[Full Tilit]

Missed a good one last night, tourney and cash, was a really good atmosphere around the cardroom, especially on the final table (brag) and thew dealers were good crack, and much of the time was spent talking about the crazy chef shoving all in on pocket 2's after stevie trett limped UTG with kings, excellent night

Is it true that the crazy chef finished 13th in this years 50k HORSE event? that's what I heard but I don't know wether to believe it or not.

[buzz]

Is it true that the crazy chef finished 13th in this years 50k HORSE event? that's what I heard but I don't know wether to believe it or not.

couldnt tell you mate, hes probs capable because he is infact a good player..when he doesnt shove on pocket 2's..

[buzz]

btw is that a 50k buy in???if so i dont think so lol

[Full Tilit]

btw is that a 50k buy in???if so i dont think so lol

Yeah at the WSOP, Scotty Nguyen won it this year but apprently (not my words) Scotty got all his chips against the crazy chef 13 handed playing the hold-em round & chef held KK & Scotty was holding 99 & found a 9 on the turn for the live 1 to stay alive & cripple the chef.

[buzz]

Yeah at the WSOP, Scotty Nguyen won it this year but apprently (not my words) Scotty got all his chips against the crazy chef 13 handed playing the hold-em round & chef held KK & Scotty was holding 99 & found a 9 on the turn for the live 1 to stay alive & cripple the chef.

if so the whole world would have heard him ranting and raving about it so i verrryyyyyyy much doubt it is true lol

it might have been A crazy chef, but it was THE crazy chef

[spoona999]

came 4th for 105£, blinds were so high it was ridic, average stack was 5BB, we were four handed for an hour or so and i just ended up shoving on Q10, ran into AQ, Alex Jobling finished 3rd aswell, after we had turned down the chop for 200 each four handed lol silly boy's we are

school boy error tht 1!!

[buzz]

school boy error tht 1!!

nar i just have balls

[Zero]

missed out on the cash, was alot of crack, and just a real doss about, could have made a killing from the guy hu brown was jippin , he put in like £80, wel that is if there hadnt been so much live straddling and play making with 7-2

[Irishimi]

Is it true that the crazy chef finished 13th in this years 50k HORSE event? that's what I heard but I don't know wether to believe it or not.

This made me lol.

[tubbs]

Is it true that the crazy chef finished 13th in this years 50k HORSE event? that's what I heard but I don't know wether to believe it or not.

this has gotta be the most ridiculous thing i have ever heard or seen.

p.s. cgk's paul daniels photie is a close second mind :)

[Zero]

there a game on tonight after omaha?

[GazWalker]

there a game on tonight after omaha?

I'll be over late(r) then, I don't think I'm doing the Omaha tourney :p

[goldfoxdom]

yes defo cash games 2nite. i also have some xmas treats and the biggest winner will recieve a golden hand shake

[Zero]

I'll be over late(r) then, I don't think I'm doing the Omaha tourney :p

doing the same, al be drunk though so you can all take my monies

[GazWalker]

Golden hand shake and a drunk. Wouldn't miss it for the world :D

[Nut_Stack]

anygame happening tomorrow before the tourny?

[Zero]

before? wat tourney is on? there is one tonyt, gana start at like 10.30/11

[GazWalker]

Good laugh last night fellas :)

[goldfoxdom]

any1 we no make final of tourny? who won it?

[spoona999]

any1 we no make final of tourny? who won it?

FT was

Me
Aryan
the suit
ali
stevie sense
my mate from crammy
imi
a teacher called mark
some guy in a beanie



done a 3 way chop dunno who tho

[Zero]

Good laugh last night fellas :)

ai i thought was banter, you most likely enjoyed it cz you had a drunken fool like me to take money from, did i call someones all in with 10-3?

[GazWalker]

ai i thought was banter, you most likely enjoyed it cz you had a drunken fool like me to take money from, did i call someones all in with 10-3?

Probably, although you weren't the worse player at the table, even in your drunken state :p

[omahaha]

ill take that as a compliment :rolleyes:

[GazWalker]

ill take that as a compliment :rolleyes:

Hi Milo :D

I didn't say it was you, although it probably was :p

Ah it was good fun, did you win your money back on the blackjack...

Gaz.

[buzz]

ai i thought was banter, you most likely enjoyed it cz you had a drunken fool like me to take money from, did i call someones all in with 10-3?

im afraid u did, against stevie sensations bullets!!

btw a big shout out to the action dealer "tubbs" for once again delivering his magic.

all in pre flop my kk vs 77, 7 on the flop, blank on the turn, K on the river!!!!!!! wooohooooooo i even kissed his head to show my grattitude

[Irishimi]

That table was a lot of fun with a lot of laughs and shouting going on.

Anyone playing tonight?

[J10BLN]

im afraid u did, against stevie sensations bullets!!

btw a big shout out to the action dealer "tubbs" for once again delivering his magic.

all in pre flop my kk vs 77, 7 on the flop, blank on the turn, K on the river!!!!!!! wooohooooooo i even kissed his head to show my grattitude

Case king

[GazWalker]

Anyone playing tonight?

Aye, you playing the tourney?

[spoona999]

Aye, you playing the tourney?

i am :)

[Irishimi]

Aye, you playing the tourney?

Drinks 4 my m8s bday. Will come in after

[Irishimi]

Another good table, except for the cantankerous old slowroller. Didn't feel the slightest bit bad after I badbeat him.

Some class moments were GazWalker laying down a set to an awesome speech after he only had to call £13 more after raising on £25 on a 4 diamond board on the turn. Stevie Sensation moaning about getting no cards then winning £1.25 with Aces. And the table managing to convince Sensation that 3 pair beat a full house in 7 card stud.

[Zero]

im afraid u did, against stevie sensations bullets!!

btw a big shout out to the action dealer "tubbs" for once again delivering his magic.

all in pre flop my kk vs 77, 7 on the flop, blank on the turn, K on the river!!!!!!! wooohooooooo i even kissed his head to show my grattitude

think it myt have been the drink brining out your true feelings

[Zero]

Another good table, except for the cantankerous old slowroller. Didn't feel the slightest bit bad after I badbeat him.

Some class moments were GazWalker laying down a set to an awesome speech after he only had to call £13 more after raising on £25 on a 4 diamond board on the turn. Stevie Sensation moaning about getting no cards then winning £1.25 with Aces. And the table managing to convince Sensation that 3 pair beat a full house in 7 card stud.

did you get 7 card stud cash going? or was it just once every round?

[GazWalker]

Another good table, except for the cantankerous old slowroller. Didn't feel the slightest bit bad after I badbeat him.

Some class moments were GazWalker laying down a set to an awesome speech after he only had to call £13 more after raising on £25 on a 4 diamond board on the turn. Stevie Sensation moaning about getting no cards then winning £1.25 with Aces. And the table managing to convince Sensation that 3 pair beat a full house in 7 card stud.

It was an awesome speech though, Oscar winning performance from the lad in seat 3 :D

That old get was funny one mind.

Gaz.

[tubbs]

anyone fancy a game saturday? i can do 7:30ish-11pm

[GazWalker]

anyone fancy a game saturday? i can do 7:30ish-11pm

I'm at a Christmas do on Sat night unfortunately...

Gaz.

[Zero]

anyone fancy a game saturday? i can do 7:30ish-11pm

the stanleys card room isn't open on a saturday, so unless they did us a favour would have to be at grosvner, is anyone up for it tonight? if not at stanleys then at grosv? the grosv give dealers for £2 an hour, otherwise stanleys is the best choice because its free

[Stevie Sensation]

Another good table, except for the cantankerous old slowroller. Didn't feel the slightest bit bad after I badbeat him.

Some class moments were GazWalker laying down a set to an awesome speech after he only had to call £13 more after raising on £25 on a 4 diamond board on the turn. Stevie Sensation moaning about getting no cards then winning £1.25 with Aces. And the table managing to convince Sensation that 3 pair beat a full house in 7 card stud.

That guy was hilarious.

Gaz got crushed to say the least haha. That was amazing. One of the best things I've seen in poker.

No cards entire game, I raise with Ace King, I get beat with crap like 10 5. I raise with aces, everyone folds. What crap!

Terrible 7 card stud. We played Omaha hi/lo too and 5 card I think? Dealers choice towards the end of the morning.

[Zero]

That guy was hilarious.

Gaz got crushed to say the least haha. That was amazing. One of the best things I've seen in poker.

No cards entire game, I raise with Ace King, I get beat with crap like 10 5. I raise with aces, everyone folds. What crap!

Terrible 7 card stud. We played Omaha hi/lo too and 5 card I think? Dealers choice towards the end of the morning.

you can't get paid with aces twice in a week, its poker law

[buzz]

That guy was hilarious.

Gaz got crushed to say the least haha. That was amazing. One of the best things I've seen in poker.

No cards entire game, I raise with Ace King, I get beat with crap like 10 5. I raise with aces, everyone folds. What crap!

Terrible 7 card stud. We played Omaha hi/lo too and 5 card I think? Dealers choice towards the end of the morning.

its because your shit sensation,absolute shit!!

il be up for playing if tubbs is dealing lol

and have u got tht 20 quid u owe me seb? i dont want to pressure u about it,i wouldnt want to be the one that sent you over edge, what with everything going on at the moment:D

[Zero]

its because your shit sensation,absolute shit!!

il be up for playing if tubbs is dealing lol

and have u got tht 20 quid u owe me seb? i dont want to pressure u about it,i wouldnt want to be the one that sent you over edge, what with everything going on at the moment:D

haha yeah i should do, my whole night depends on whether i can get the money from andy, i duno why i lent him so much, was obviously feeling generous, you up for playin tonyt? few bevs?

[buzz]

haha yeah i should do, my whole night depends on whether i can get the money from andy, i duno why i lent him so much, was obviously feeling generous, you up for playin tonyt? few bevs?

might be up for playing,not sure about the bevs tho, dont fancy being too late either,got work 2moro,will sort summit out later on.

[tubbs]

yeah i could poss play the nite, similar times to sat, would be looking to finish 1am at the latest for me.

[Zero]

might be up for playing,not sure about the bevs tho, dont fancy being too late either,got work 2moro,will sort summit out later on.

you done ur 500 free yet? wats the tourney in stanners before hand?

[buzz]

yeah i could poss play the nite, similar times to sat, would be looking to finish 1am at the latest for me.

yerr same sort of thing for me if i play

you done ur 500 free yet? wats the tourney in stanners before hand?

dont no, very much doubt they will get one going 2bh,certainly if its the 1010101010 crap

[Zero]

dont no, very much doubt they will get one going 2bh,certainly if its the 1010101010 crap

didnt you use to love that?


also yeah ad be up for sumit like that, early finish type of thing, tryin to sort me monies atm though

[GazWalker]

I might be over after the donkament, see how it goes if your not staying late.

[mrflushy]

there is no game this evening at circus, put i will be in tonight, so if you want a game, pop in and i sort out the chips for you

Ben

[Zero]

I might be over after the donkament, see how it goes if your not staying late.

if no one is at stanners then you should check grosvner, there will defs be one goin on

[GazWalker]

there is no game this evening at circus, put i will be in tonight, so if you want a game, pop in and i sort out the chips for you

Ben

I meant the Aspers game Ben, but I'll pop over for a bit cashy later if theres people there...

Gaz.

[Zero]

there is no game this evening at circus, put i will be in tonight, so if you want a game, pop in and i sort out the chips for you

Ben

hadn't seen this, the way stanleys and their cardroom staff try to accomodate is always appreciated

[GazWalker]

I wish I played at the Grov. now, see for details:

http://www.newcastle-poker.co.uk/forum/showthread.php?goto=newpost&t=3113

[Zero]

anyone on for tonight? at either? more likely grosv since stans cardroom is closed

[GazWalker]

anyone on for tonight? at either? more likely grosv since stans cardroom is closed

Out the night mate so probably not...

[Zero]

ino it wasnt at stanners but i just got in from the most epic cash game ever, must have started at midnight and only finished at 10, was insane, casinos shouldnt have 24 hours licenses

[goldfoxdom]

honest? who played in that?

[Stevie Sensation]

I crushed everyone.

[spoona999]

I crushed everyone.

i wud expect nothing ele stevie, someone has to do it when i aint there!!

[GazWalker]

We getting anything going tonight?

[goldfoxdom]

id play, anyone else?

[Stevie Sensation]

Too sleepy. At tag team game tomorrow though, so will play after.

[Zero]

Too sleepy. At tag team game tomorrow though, so will play after.

ad play now, infact if sum1 ofered a lift ad go for the 20 20

[tubbs]

monday cash game? some are playin tag so they will play after but anyone just up goin for cash

[spoona999]

dnt think ill b playin the night aint feelin 2 good!!! although me n my mate cud tag team the cash game 2

[buzz]

dnt think ill b playin the night aint feelin 2 good!!! although me n my mate cud tag team the cash game 2

there we go again,hes mentioning his mate BRAG POST